Symptoms and Signs

So basically, I'm done with my doctor. I received my last blood test results and my TSH is far away from normal. It's worse than it was a few months before, too, granted only by 0.008 points, but changes like that should not warrant "no treatment", especially when those hormone levels are worse than before. Unlike hypothyroidism, when left untreated for a long time, hyperthyroidism CAN KILL YOU. That being said, I am still EXTREMELY uncomfortable.

I still have neck lumps. I still have ear pain. I still have trouble talking sometimes. My AC broke, I sleep with two fans on, no covers, minimal clothing...and I still feel like I'm in an inferno. My heart started pounding last night in my sleep. IN MY SLEEP. I've had my share of stomach problems; they are getting far more troublesome than they have been. I am spending way too much time in the bathroom. Can there just be like ONE day where I can be free from all this? I beg and I plead and nothing ever happens. School is starting in 12 days and I can't live like this. What makes anyone think I can focus in school when I can barely focus on anything else but what happens to me physically? I'm incredibly worried. Worried I'm not going to make it. I'm terrified I'm going to fail out. They didn't want me sick in school but it's going to happen anyway. And they better not turn me away at that door. I'm not letting my health interfere with my productivity any more than it already does. I'm not going to let people boss me around.

I don't care if I'm held up on the phone for hours. I'm calling the ENT department at my local hospital. Their ER is the best I've ever been to and I believe they're going to give me good treatment and I think everything will be fine. I'm off the whole calcification theory thing because I can't trust my doctor, so essentially I'm back where I was a few months ago: clueless and scared. I keep putting this off but I know I can't afford to anymore. It's for my own good. I need to stop being scared and just get it over with already. Because clearly, I can't function like this no matter where I am; home, school, the supermarket...wherever I am, my thyroid goes with me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I know the thyroid is an extremely complicated organ and it can fuck around with you in so many different ways, and often people don't know what to think, even doctors. But I still believe there's an answer for me out there. There's always an answer for everything.