Today I'm mainly going to talk about feelings. But first a quick note before I start today's entry: If my condition turns out to be malignant, it is extremely treatable; surgery on my thyroid will take care of the problem, but we're still not sure if I need it yet.
On to today's topic, then. I guess the main thing I've been thinking about lately is, "Why is this happening to me?" I take pretty damn good care of myself. I quit smoking 3 years ago, and even then I was only on a pack a week. I try to eat healthy; I'll admit I'm a bit of a junk food junkie and candy afficionado, but I (almost never) eat candy for breakfast. So where did I go wrong these past 19 years?
Maybe it's payback. Payback for being a b-word (I don't use profanity here because I want to keep this PG rated) to people sometimes. But then again, the reason I am one is often because of my condition. Maybe it's what I get for my behaviour problems as a child. I was aggressive and insubordinate and got expelled from my private school in 3rd grade. Maybe it's some kind of curse. I have the best of intentions no matter how angry I get. I'm not a bad or evil person. So why me?
My mom says sometimes it's just dumb luck. Luck? Generally that word is associated with positive things. A fluke? Again, associated with the positive. I want to know why this is happening but nobody is giving me a clear answer. Just "dumb luck". So I'm pretty upset about that right now. I just wish I knew what the heck happened down the road that I ended up like this.
On a positive note today, I had orientation for college today. The room was highly air conditioned, and I was the only one who didn't complain that it was cold. Although I was comfortable temperature-wise, it was very boring, but I plan to look at the materials they gave me at home. Now I'm just relaxing. Gonna go have a glass of ice water and try and keep my mind off what irks me day in and day out.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Introductions
I was inspired to start this blog by someone I used to know. I am going through a lot and I think it's important that I share my experiences to let people better understand thyroid disease. I, personally, am in a very rare situation, particularly for a 19-year-old girl. These are my stories.
First, let me explain the thyroid gland. The thyroid is an endocrine gland located in the lower part of the front of the neck. Its main job is to regulate metabolism through secretion of hormones. These hormones not only affect metabolism, but they affect all processes of the body. So, really, thyroid disease is systemic symptom-wise. Because of these systemic factors, thyroid disease can make you quite miserable all over.
My struggle started with hypothyroidism, which I believe I had suffered from for quite some time before diagnosis last September. Hypothyroidism is a condition in which the thyroid does not secrete enough hormone. Some symptoms I experienced in this phase were weight gain, cold intolerance, fatigue, and high blood cholesterol. Upon diagnosis, my doctor decided to order a thyroid sonogram (ultrasound) to make sure nothing potentially serious was going on. And believe me, I did not like the results of this sonogram.
My sonogram revealed several complex cysts; in other words, they are abnormal growths that are partially solid, partially liquid. But because of the solid components, they are classified as a type of tumour (ugh, yes, I said the "t" word) and have a chance of malignancy (cancer; ugh, it's the "c" word), particularly in people as young as I am. Soon after this discovery, my symptoms completely changed.
Around February of this year, I started to develop hyperthyroidism, which is an overactive thyroid gland, secreting more hormone than usual. My symptoms have included weight loss (20 pounds in a month and counting), extreme heat intolerance (the worst), heart palpitations, muscle weakness, increased digestive activity (which ain't fun, to experience or talk about), and restlessness. This has been going on for four months now and is getting progressively worse. I have begun to feel lumps in the front of my neck, particularly on the left side, mostly when I swallow, but that is only occasionally. I also have what doctors call cervical lymphadenopathy, which is swelling of the lymph nodes (glands) in the neck. My doctor decided this was a bad sign and ordered another sonogram.
I had my sonogram done roughly three weeks ago. I am still waiting to hear back from the doctor. I am getting to be so miserable that I am considering just plain calling, but I'm incredibly nervous. Naturally with cystic tumours, I have every right to be nervous. But as a friend told me, it's better to know what's going on than to psyche yourself out thinking about the possibilities. Yay friends.
Over the months, I have been to some crappy doctors, which have made me even more frustrated about my condition. But my general practitioner is amazing. She is worth the trip to Long Island to go see her (I live in NYC). Thyroid disease is a very complicated subject, even among doctors. I think the main reason for this is because the symptoms are systemic, which would cause a crappy doctor to think that something else was going on besides a thyroid problem and completely miss the big picture rather than testing the blood for thyroid hormone balance (a TSH test). This, in turn, creates a lot of negative feelings when seeing a crappy doctor.
The feelings don't just come from crappy doctors, take my word for it. I experience a lot of anxiety, depression, worry...you name it, I feel it. I hate feeling disabled; my condition prevents me from doing many things, and I want to be as free as I can be. I'm 19 years old. I have the right to be a free spirit and a free body.
I'm going to wrap this up with a little more background about my health history. I also suffer from asthma and obstructive lung disease, COPD generally, chronic bronchitis specifically. As if this didn't make my life any easier, I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at age 15 (I am on great medication so you really can't even tell) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) at age 7. But I try and live my life and not let anything stop me. Thus concludes my introductory post. I hope you all keep reading and get edumacated (ha. ha. ha.).
First, let me explain the thyroid gland. The thyroid is an endocrine gland located in the lower part of the front of the neck. Its main job is to regulate metabolism through secretion of hormones. These hormones not only affect metabolism, but they affect all processes of the body. So, really, thyroid disease is systemic symptom-wise. Because of these systemic factors, thyroid disease can make you quite miserable all over.
My struggle started with hypothyroidism, which I believe I had suffered from for quite some time before diagnosis last September. Hypothyroidism is a condition in which the thyroid does not secrete enough hormone. Some symptoms I experienced in this phase were weight gain, cold intolerance, fatigue, and high blood cholesterol. Upon diagnosis, my doctor decided to order a thyroid sonogram (ultrasound) to make sure nothing potentially serious was going on. And believe me, I did not like the results of this sonogram.
My sonogram revealed several complex cysts; in other words, they are abnormal growths that are partially solid, partially liquid. But because of the solid components, they are classified as a type of tumour (ugh, yes, I said the "t" word) and have a chance of malignancy (cancer; ugh, it's the "c" word), particularly in people as young as I am. Soon after this discovery, my symptoms completely changed.
Around February of this year, I started to develop hyperthyroidism, which is an overactive thyroid gland, secreting more hormone than usual. My symptoms have included weight loss (20 pounds in a month and counting), extreme heat intolerance (the worst), heart palpitations, muscle weakness, increased digestive activity (which ain't fun, to experience or talk about), and restlessness. This has been going on for four months now and is getting progressively worse. I have begun to feel lumps in the front of my neck, particularly on the left side, mostly when I swallow, but that is only occasionally. I also have what doctors call cervical lymphadenopathy, which is swelling of the lymph nodes (glands) in the neck. My doctor decided this was a bad sign and ordered another sonogram.
I had my sonogram done roughly three weeks ago. I am still waiting to hear back from the doctor. I am getting to be so miserable that I am considering just plain calling, but I'm incredibly nervous. Naturally with cystic tumours, I have every right to be nervous. But as a friend told me, it's better to know what's going on than to psyche yourself out thinking about the possibilities. Yay friends.
Over the months, I have been to some crappy doctors, which have made me even more frustrated about my condition. But my general practitioner is amazing. She is worth the trip to Long Island to go see her (I live in NYC). Thyroid disease is a very complicated subject, even among doctors. I think the main reason for this is because the symptoms are systemic, which would cause a crappy doctor to think that something else was going on besides a thyroid problem and completely miss the big picture rather than testing the blood for thyroid hormone balance (a TSH test). This, in turn, creates a lot of negative feelings when seeing a crappy doctor.
The feelings don't just come from crappy doctors, take my word for it. I experience a lot of anxiety, depression, worry...you name it, I feel it. I hate feeling disabled; my condition prevents me from doing many things, and I want to be as free as I can be. I'm 19 years old. I have the right to be a free spirit and a free body.
I'm going to wrap this up with a little more background about my health history. I also suffer from asthma and obstructive lung disease, COPD generally, chronic bronchitis specifically. As if this didn't make my life any easier, I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at age 15 (I am on great medication so you really can't even tell) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) at age 7. But I try and live my life and not let anything stop me. Thus concludes my introductory post. I hope you all keep reading and get edumacated (ha. ha. ha.).
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